


Sherlock, The Death Frisbee & Mistletoe

by MizUndahStood



Series: FanFiction Fanatics Prompts/Challenges [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: BAMF - Original Female Character, Ear Hat, F/M, Female Character of Color, For Science!, Jealous John, John is Not Amused, Mistletoe, Not Beta Read, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Romantic Friendship, She's Not Bad... Just Drawn That Way, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock's Hat, Stolen Kisses, death frisbee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-08 12:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5496551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizUndahStood/pseuds/MizUndahStood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock finds a novel use for his "Death Frisbee", "Ear Hat" thingy, and is suddenly fascinated by the holiday tradition of kissing under the mistletoe. </p><p>He decides to embark upon the perfect project to keep him occupied during the holidays. </p><p>Unfortunately, Anna is the locus of his experimentations, and John is <em>not<em></em></em> amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cover Art - Sherlock, The Death Frisbee & Mistletoe

[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2016%20-%20December/EA5E3E1B-223E-47B0-9029-3CB2A313A88A_zpsuqzyhcgh.jpg.html)


	2. From A Distance: A Sherlock and Marley Vignette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sherlock is engrossed in his weekly video chat with Anna's precocious niece Marley.
> 
> She poses a question that prompts Sherlock to search his Mind Palace.  
> Will his unfiltered train of thought cause him to run afoul of Doctors Eberhardt and Watson?  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is prologue to: "JealousJohn is NOT Amused...".  
> Both chapters contain 1,225 words. (twelve twenty-five... _For Christmas!! _)__

Sherlock genuinely enjoys his weekly confab with Anna's niece Marley. She's bubbly, charming, and wise beyond her years for a youngling.  
The two get on famously. Ever since visiting Washington, DC with Anna during Spring Reading Week, he's kept in touch. They fall easily into conversation. Before they know it, they find themselves chatting, and sharing unfiltered meanderings.

Marley has quite a little crush on Sherlock, and he adores her as well. One might even say he dotes on her; always discovering new reasons to send small but thoughtful tokens of his esteem. Every gift accepted with enthusiasm and girlish squeals of excitement.

This video chat began, and proceeded as usual. Quite unremarkable in fact. Until Marley wonders aloud about something that has been the bane of Sherlock's existence since its first appearance - that damnable death frisbee of a deerstalker cap.

Sherlock is comfortably ensconced at his desk in the sitting room of 221B, peering into the camera eye of his laptop, elbows planted firmly as he sits steepling his fingers while he chats to Marley on Skype.

[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2015%20-%20December/F3BC3F7E-E72A-4D91-A9BF-5ADA9327CF2E_zpsifdusp29.jpg.html)

When Marley logged on she'd been amusing herself with Sherlock's most recent gift - a set of two dolls. One of the dolls looked exactly like Sherlock, the other like John. Both dolls were kitted out perfectly to replicate their ridiculous adventures.

"Hey, Sherlock..."  
"Hmm?"  
"Are you ready for Christmas?"  
"As ready as one might, I suppose" he surmised.  
"What does that even mean, Sherlock? What's wrong? _Don't you like Christmas? _There's lotsa cool fun stuff this time of year."__  
"Like what?" he shrugged.  
"Candy canes, pretty lights, mistletoe... All kindsa stuff."  
" _Mistletoe_?" He tapped a place just above his upper lip as he wondered aloud.  
"Yeah. MI-ST-LE..."  
"I've got that bit, Marley." Sherlock waved his hands at his computer.  
"Mmmkay." she giggled.  
"Doesn't the mistletoe tradition involve suspending a parasitic sprig of growth with leathery leaves and glutinous white berries overhead, thus ensnaring passers by - including those you fancy - into a kiss before being granted a by your leave?" Sherlock prattled excitedly in a rapid fire staccato.  
"I guess so." Marley pouted. "Ya know, Sherlock... Sometimes you're waaay too literal. Auntie Anna says that you could prolly squash the stank out of shi..."  
"MARLEY!! Language... please." He gasped. "For goodness sake, your Aunt would throttle me if she felt that I permitted or encouraged use of such coarse and utterly unflattering language for someone your age" he scolded.  
"Hmmph... Pot, meet kettle. I've heard you say way worse than that, Sherlock." She admonished the Detective, arms folded defiantly.  
"I believe you are correct. I will try my damndest to set a good example for you, linguistically." he nodded. "Oopsy!" Marley tittered.

Sherlock covered his face, shook his head, then raked his fingers through his hair.

"Busted, you are!" She covered her mouth with her hands and giggled. 

"Busted, indeed." Sherlock quirked a brow.

Then, Sherlock canted his head and crinkled his nose which only served to inspire Marley to fall into full on laughter. 

"You should see your face, Sherlock!" Marley laughed as she pointed to her computer screen.  
"Actually, I can. Something amiss or summat?" He leaned into the camera eye, contorted his face, and smoothed a hand over his chin; as if he were expecting something to suddenly appear out of place.  
"No! Your expression, silly goose. You make the funniest faces sometimes."

"Sherlock?"  
"Yes...?"  
"Do you still have that cool hat that you wear on the news?"  
"That ear hat, death frisbee thingy?"  
"Unh-huh. I like it. It's fugly but cool. It's different, in a totally good way."

Sherlock shuddered and shook his head.  
"What?" Marley shrugged. She mimicked one of Sherlock's stock expressions, by furrowing her brow. 

"I'd always hated that hat, and felt justified in doing so. Am I to understand that solely by dint of me wearing that contemptibly dodgy sartorial accessory, I have given it some kind of cultural relevance?" He queried.  
"Kinda. But mostly because when wear the hat you look all dangerous and mysterious. Especially with your collar turned up."  
"Hmmm... Much to consider, I have." Sherlock chortled.  
"Yep." Marley nodded.

Sherlock screwed up his face again, and poked out his tongue at Marley. To which she blew a raspberry in response.  
They were sharing a chuckle when Sherlock glanced at the clock on his computer, then looked down at his watch and realized it was time to end their chat.

"I saw that, you know..." Marley pouted.  
"Well, it's time for you to start practicing, isn't it?"  
"Yeah, guess so."  
"What's it today, then?"  
"Paradiddles!" she squealed.  
"Well then, off you go."  
"‘Kay. Thanks for the drumsticks, Sherlock. Byeee!" Marley smiled, and waved.  
"Oh." he smiled lightly. "You're quite welcome, Marley. Perhaps next week you'll play a cadence for me?"  
"Maybe. But I'd like it more if we played something together."  
"Sounds infinitely doable. I'll see what I can arrange."  
"Cooolies!" she giggled. "See ya later. Love you. Buh-Bye..."

Sherlock looked befuddled, but returned the affectionate send off. "I, erm... I am inordinately fond of you as well." he chuckled uncomfortably. 

Marley waved at Sherlock again, and they concluded their weekly chat. He closed his laptop and powered down.

Sherlock crossed the room, toed off his shoes, and stretched out on the sofa. He carded his fingers through his loopy Byronic curls, relishing the half-lit stillness of the room as he hunkered down to prepare his transport to go offline while meandering through the inner workings of his deep subconscious.  
Marley had given him food for thought, and he fully intended to visit a nice open air cafe in his Mind Palace to have a cuppa and mull things over. Just before closing his eyes to shut out the world he reached out for his mobile, and began cradling it as if were a sort of talisman. The feel of the hard plastic and cold glass between his palms calmed and comforted Sherlock as he prepared for what he hopes will be an uninterrupted virtual amble. 

  
[ ](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2015%20-%20December/497415D5-B6D7-4C3B-A4F0-4C2DA6045EF8_zpsqvpekkod.jpg.html)

The notion of mistletoe had never held much interest for him in years past, but this holiday season was most assuredly unlike any other.  
With eyes closed, a slight smile graced Sherlock's lips as he wandered blithely through the various rooms of his Mind Palace. Though not fully conscious, he muttered occasionally as he assembled the working pieces of his plan in his mind's eye.

Before too long, the afternoon had gently passed him by, and melded into early evening.

At the end of his extended meditation, Sherlock's eyes flew open suddenly. He has an idea. Though frankly, it's an awful idea.  
Sherlock has an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.  
_For Science!! _Of course...__

[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2015%20-%20December/03003F06-8063-41DC-A7FC-2691BE220A24_zpsxlfo72yc.jpg.html)

Sherlock checked his watch. " _The game is on! _" he'd decided.__

John would be arriving home soon, with Anna to follow shortly after.  
Bearing that in mind, Sherlock will have just enough time to gather the materials needed to set phase one into motion.  
But first, he needs to pop 'round to the shops for a few last minute supplies.

_Ohhh! This is going to be fun_ He thought.  
He'd never appreciated or had need to be aware of the run up to Christmas. But this year Sherlock fully intends to make great use of the time period to conduct what might become his favorite experiment ever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title borrowed from a Bette Midler song:  
> Bette Midler - "From A Distance" (Official Music Video)  
> http://youtu.be/lN4AcFzxtdE  
> (Not exactly a Christmas tune, but it has feels) 
> 
> Steepling  
> http://www.all-about-body-language.com/steepling.html
> 
> What is a "paradiddle"?  
> "The single paradiddle is an extremely popular drum rudiment that sounds great while played within drum beats, drum fills, and even unique drum solo patterns. It is an absolutely essential rudiment for any drummer that wants to expand their drumming possibilities"  
> http://www.freedrumlessons.com/drum-lessons/single-paradiddle.php
> 
> I do not own the images that appear in this story. Each was sourced from Google Images, and edited.
> 
> Not Beta'd or BritPicked. After reading through and posting, further editing/revising will be done on the fly.


	3. JealousJohn is NOT Amused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock's mistletoe experiment has yielded some interesting data points, which emboldened him to be more adventurous. 
> 
> Things take a turn when he becomes a tad over enthusiastic. Which is unfortunate, because John is not amused with his loosey-goosey application of scientific method.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written to satisfy this prompt from FanFiction Fanatics on Facebook:
> 
> "Write a story (long or short) including reference to a winter holiday/festival. Could be Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, Kwanzaa, Festivus, whatever... Have fun..." 
> 
> The origin of Sherlock's idea begins in a one-shot posted as a Prologue to this chapter.
> 
> It's a vignette featuring Sherlock and Anna's niece Marley - having a chat via Skype.

That contemptuous ear hat, death frisbee thingy that Sherlock had come to dispise over the years had come in quite handy for his latest round of "experiments".

Death frisbee + Mistletoe = Sherlock being an absolute prat.  
And John, who had been fairly good natured about his mate's shenanigans decided his patience has found its end.

Things are about to be a bit not good in 221B Baker Street.

Sherlock summoned Anna to the sitting room as he sought his next opportunity to further his holiday explorations. He donned his deerstalker and attached a sprig of mistletoe to the bill in front with velcro.

When Anna climbed the stairs to the sitting room, Sherlock was waiting by the doorway. As she attempted to pass, he blocked her path, blithely chuckled "Mistletoe" and pointed to the bill of his cap.  
Anna rolled her eyes and huffed impatiently. "Not again..." She closed her eyes and presented her cheek for what she thought would be a polite peck.

But Sherlock had _other_ plans.

Emboldened by previous interactions with his alluring housemate, Sherlock swept Anna into his arms dramatically, leaned her backward over his arm, and kissed her until she was nearly breathless.

Unfortunately, John saw the end of the kiss as he rounded the corner to descend the stairs from his bedroom. He clomped down the stairs two at a time until he was standing next to the duo.  
[](http://s1375.photobucket.com/user/Miz_UndahStood/media/2015%20-%20December/71A13FB5-20A9-4867-B97A-36E0BB0B41EE_zpseuuelb4x.gif.html)  
He yanked Anna away from his best mate, and pinned Sherlock against the wall with his forearm across the detective's throat. Sherlock's eyes flew open wide as he struggled for breath, but he quirked a snarky grin at his mate. Anna was horrified.

"JACK! DON'T!! Please, baby... Just...don't. Okay?" she pleaded. 

Sherlock canted his head, narrowed his eyes and crinkled his nose as he mouthed the word " _Jack __"?_

"Don't you bloody dare. SHUT UP SHERLOCK! And stay shut up." John bounced him against the wall as he angrily spat out his words.  
"I swear to GOD, if you don't stop grabbing her, and kissing her like that - I. Will. Burst. You."  
"Dammit, I mean it Sherlock. For days now, I've been putting up with you and that damnable deerstalker with the fecking mistletoe attached to the fecking bill. I'm not laughing anymore, mate. This ends _here _". John grunted, jaw clenched.__

Sherlock remained smug as ever during the standoff between the two men. He shook his head, quirked his chin and shrugged while staring at John, which only served to annoy the Doctor even further.

"Calm down Jawwwn, it's for science. I simply wanted to immerse myself in a holiday tradition that I'd previously thought of as obligatory, and pedestrian. By the way - Thank you, Anna for providing me with invaluable data. A most enjoyable experiment, indeed." He chuckled mirthlessly.  
"The fact that Anna happens to have such a beautiful, kissable mouth isn't my fault, Jawn. Though I am loathe to admit it, you are unbelievably fortunate to be able to snog her whenever you take a notion."

" _Sherrr _LOCK!!" John growled.__

Anna pried John away from the Detective and stepped between the men. She reached over, snatched the hat from Sherlock's head, and smoothed it down onto her own.  
She turned to glower at John briefly before returning her attention to Sherlock. Anna squared her shoulders, took a deep breath, and grabbed the Detective by his shirt with both hands. She stopped for a beat, looked him deeply in the eyes and cupped his face in her hands.

Sherlock's usually staid, sarcastic smirk began to soften just as she leaned in and placed a blistering kiss on his lips. When Sherlock's knees wobbled, Anna broke the kiss. Though she'd stopped moments before he could part his lips, he was off balance and clutched for a solid surface to support himself.

She stepped back to look him over. Eyeing him defiantly, nearly daring him to speak. He leaned against the wall near the stairs, eyes sparkling with utter amazement. 

John was enraged as he watched the transaction. He stood stock still, clenching and releasing his hands into fists as the tops of his ears turned beet red. Interestingly, through all the anger found that he was more than just a little turned on. Not that he'd ever admit that out loud.

"What the hell?! C'mon, Luv. Bloody feckin'..." 

Before John could finish his sentence, Anna had spun herself back toward her beau, circled an arm around him and captured him in an epic lip lock, with full on tonsil hockey. John smiled, and hummed into her kiss. He cradled her face tenderly and threaded his fingers through her hair. She pulled back to look at him and smiled sweetly. Then she nuzzled his nose and giggled girlishly. 

"Jeezus, Anna." John breathed.  
"I love you, John Hamish Watson. You're my fella. Don't you ever doubt that. Not ever."  
Anna reached out with her forefinger to tap the stroppy doctor on the end of his nose. "BOOP!"  
"Ohhh, you are a bad, bad woman, Luv." he smiled, flirtatiously. 

Anna winked, and clicked her tongue. Then, she doffed Sherlock's cap, and shoved it back at him. He stood with it in his hands spinning it back to front as he shook his head in puzzlement. 

"Are we done with this little bit of ridiculosity now, Wils?" she demanded.  
"Yes, I quite think we..." 

Anna's eyes darkened as he spoke. She slapped Sherlock hard across the face and sidled up to him. She fixed herself firmly in his personal space before grabbing him by the crotch, and bouncing his bollocks in her hand.

"Nice. Hefty, too." she purred. "Do you like them?"

Sherlock nodded.

"So, one might suppose you'll be wanting to keep them intact. Hmm?"  
"Y-yesss. Yes." he simpered.

Anna gave Sherlock's bollocks a tug, and a slight squeeze as she leaned in to discreetly whisper to him:  
"You've been taking liberties, Wils. Don't you ever... _ever _... do anything like this again. Are we clear?"  
"Crystal" he muttered.__

Sherlock smoothed a hand over his cheek where Anna's hand print left a warm spot. He lowered his chin, and beamed at her with his mischievous left sided grin.

John and Sherlock glanced over at the other and smiled. 

"I saw that little look, you two. Hug it out and get over yourselves." she advised.

Anna strode down the staircase on her way to 221C, but stopped to yell upstairs: 

"Dinner is at half seven. See you then. Do not keep me waiting..." 

Both men leaned over the banister to watch her walk away. 

The Doctor and the Detective did as requested by the lovely behaviorist. They smiled slightly uncomfortably, shook hands, and clapped each other on the back. 

"Dinner?! I'd nearly forgotten, Jawn. Do you think we'll have time to find a lovely bouquet and a bottle of wine at the shops?" Sherlock wondered.  
"Yeah, but we'd better put on some speed, mate. I'll be damned if I'm gonna wind up getting my bollocks twisted. You all right there, Sherlock?" 

"Fine..." Sherlock bellered, as he adjusted his trousers and briefs. "Need my coat. Meet you downstairs in five?" 

"Sure thing..." John nodded.  
John chuckled as he made his way up to his room to fetch his coat. Looking forward to a spot of marketing with his best mate.  
Sherlock and shopping. What could possibly go wrong?


End file.
